{Hoosier Momma Moment} What Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman

The other day I was browsing through the internet and I stumbled across this post on Babyzone.com called What NOT to Say to Your Pregnant Wife. 

The article, while hilarious, did an excellent job of painting preggos as forces to be avoided who cry at the littlest things, who go from lovable spouses to raging monsters at the drop of a hat.

22 Weeks Preggo

While reading through them, I realized Justin had been a bit guilty of a few of them, and that made me think a little about my reactions. I’m used to being my pre-preggo self who, when my man gives me the business, shoots back with a sassy comment. BAZINGA!

I decided to share it with Justin figuring we could share a little laugh at all the crazy pregnant women there are out there and how lucky we are that I’m not like that. Or, so I thought…

Justin opened the link and immediately gave me the look. Ladies, you know the look I’m talking about. The “Are you kidding me?” Look. 

I opened my mouth and said probably the stupidest thing ever: “Honey, aren’t you happy that I’m not like that?” And then it hit me. All my horrible reactions to all the seemingly harmless things he said to me.

So at the risk of exposing myself as that crazy preggo woman I try not to be, here are some things that are sure to make you laugh.

The first phrase to avoid the article mentions is: “You’re going to wear that out to dinner?!”

Before our move to South Bend, when I was stuck riding the Porcelain Express every morning, afternoon, and night during my first trimester. Justin came home from work to see me in the same ratty white Indiana sweatshirt (stains everywhere, why I ever bought a white sweatshirt is beyond me) and matching stretchy red sweatpants.

I wore that EVERY DAY. And, most days, I just didn’t shower. Wouldn’t even try. My hair was piled on the top of my head like some sort of thorny crown.

Justin came home from work to me on the couch, gave a little chuckle and said:

“Honey, are you going to get dressed today?”

I, of course, rationally told him where he could stick his comment, followed by a slew of comments from “You did this to me”, “You don’t care about me or this baby”, and the worst “I’m sorry I’m not attractive anymore”.

I was a GEM.

 What about “I’m tired of Taco Bell, can we get something else instead?”

I always kind of thought that cravings were a little hokey where I read about pregnancy symptoms. I had no idea the kind of monster it would turn me into.

It’s as if I will simultaneously implode and explode if my belly is not quenched of the burning fire that is my craving.

And the thing I’ve been craving the most during pregnancy? PANARA BREAD. Specifically a You-Pick-Two with a Greek salad and French onion soup.

There have been countless times in our home when Justin suggests we go get lunch and of course, like a great man, asks his pregnant woman where she wants to go.

I’m a broken record stuck on Panera Bread, it’s always my answer. ALWAYS.

It’s gotten to the point now where I suggest it and Justin’s eyes go back into his brain and he sighs. He never says “No” though he occasionally says “Really?” or “Again?”

Monster-making talk right there. MONSTER-MAKING TALK.

My responses are usually “THIS IS WHAT YOUR BABY WANTS”, “I’m carrying this baby!” and even the occasional “Why can’t we do what I want for a change”.


Once (and only once) Justin murmered “Why are you being so crazy?” when I was blowing up about (of all things) not heating up the right Pizza X dipping sauce with lunch.

That response is one he does not let me forget.

“I get to be crazy now! You don’t get to be crazy, you have to deal with it!”

The moral of the story is this: Sorry, ladies. You will be crazy (and mean!) when you’re pregnant. Whether you want to or not.

If you fight, get ready for little fights to become house-leavers. Get ready for little comments to become the most hurtful. Get ready for your emotions to play tricks on you.

Make sure your man knows you love him and you’re excited to be on this journey together.

The best way Justin and I have gotten through this is to talk about it. I casually place marked pages of What To Expect When You’re Expecting in front of him as if the experts will make more sense than I am.

And because I don’t say it enough, I love Justin. I’m so blessed to have him by my side during my whole crazy preggo phase. Support makes all the difference.

Someone who says something that causes WWIII and still wants to wake up beside you in the morning is a must have for every Momma-to-Be.

Thanks for looking!